Being under appreciated in friendships....

Have you ever felt like an unappreciated friend? I am such an introverted person, that I find myself over thinking things, but I think I’m just past my limit.

So, I have a group of 4 friends (including myself). I am the oldest, I am the only one with kids. Having kids sort of makes me the oddball of the group, but we all live away from our families and I enjoy being the “mom” of the group...it’s just who I am.

Anyway, the youngest in our group recently had a baby. I’ve had a connection with her because of this. Over the course of our friendship, I have done a lot for her. She is like a little sister to me. She doesn’t have family around and I want to help her in any way I can because I know how it feels to have your first baby. Plus, I love babies...I love pregnancy, nothing is TMI to me.

I threw her a small baby shower, and our other two friends barely helped. They showed up, but I had to even remind them of the dates. One friend forgot to get her a gift. I stayed up super late making homemade cupcakes, but one friend showed up and had ordered a cake (it was last minute, and super nice of her). Everyone raved about this small bakery made cake. They had all offered to help with this shower, and none of them put much effort.

I cleaned this friends house before she brought baby home and left her dinner in the fridge and homemade cookies—another friend offered to join me. Then, I mentioned I was going to send a flower arrangement and asked if they wanted to chip in and they did. I ordered and had those delivered too.

I also stayed up late to make this friend two weeks worth of freezer meals for when she brings baby home. (I also work a full time job)

One friend hasn’t done anything—she will volunteer to help but then doesn’t come through. The other friend comes and helps, but only after I’ve mentioned it first. This friend that does help is also super annoyed with the friend who had a baby. She constantly messages me talking negatively about her, and said she wants to disappear from the friendship once the baby is born.

There are countless other things, but basically,

I never expect to have anything in return. However, I just found out they invited one of the girls over first to meet the baby. (The one who wants to disappear from their friendship) They sent out a group chat thanking all of us for everything we have done....for the cleaning, the food, the flowers, etc. Basically, the things I have done.

I even ran out with my three crazy kids one night to grab them formula—because that’s what I do.

I hate feeling this way, but it bothers me that my other friends are getting acknowledged for things they didn’t really put any effort into.

I will keep helping and being a good friend, but that sort of feels yucky.

What would you do?