Currently dealing with depression.

I feel anxious to know if I got my bfp. After the miscarriage I had last year I feel like life doesn’t mean anything. During holidays I want to sleep all day because I don’t feel existed for those days. I’m married, and I feel like if I tell my husband this he will think I’m going crazy... he is in the military so he has his own problems. I don’t have anyone to vent to.