Painful Sex

Hi everyone, so I’ve been trying to have sex with my fiancé for the first time but I’ve been having trouble and I feel like it’ll negatively effect our relationship. I’ve cried from how less of a woman I feel because I think it’s my fault we can’t have intercourse.

Whenever he tries to insert his penis it just hurts me, I feel my body get tense even tho I’m trying literally SO hard to relax (because I know being tense makes it hurt) but my body literally has its own reaction and idk what to do. It hurts a lot to the point where I wonder if we’re even in the right spot but I think we are... idk. I just don’t know what to do. Even when I’ve tried to finger myself i haven’t been able to fully do it and whatever I do do doesnt even feel that great. Idk what’s wrong with me. Anyone have similar experiences, advice or words of encouragement?

Thanks in advance