How to help without offending?

Question

So my friend is currently pregnant with her first baby and all they have so far is a diaper bag and car seat. She posted a link to her registry and after looking at it she has a lot of stuff that isn’t necessary for a newborn and almost nothing that is necessary for a newborn. For example she has littler swimmers, a bunch of toys (more fit for toddlers) and crib rail cushions, she doesn’t have any clothes, diapers, swaddles, burp rags or things you actually use for newborns. The stuff that she does have that’s necessary is crazy expensive for example a $400 crib mattress. I want to help her and make sure she’s prepared as much as possible for the baby but I don’t want to offend her. I plan on buying her things that aren’t on her registry i.e. burp rags, onesies, swaddles and such but I’m worried that if it’s not on the registry other people won’t buy the stuff under the assumption that they already have it. How would you go about this? I don’t want to offend her but I also don’t want her to have to buy a bunch of stuff herself. If it were you would you be offended or appreciate a friend looking out for you?

Answer

Maybe ask her if she needs help with her registry or to sift through reviews on things. Starting a registry for your first baby is very overwhelming. She just might not know where to start. It’s easy to forget the daily necessities when you get to go through all the fun stuff too.

Answer

You should just reach out and say hey I noticed on your registry you didn’t include this and that. Did you guys already have them? because man babies use a lot of them! I don’t think she’d be offended you’re just trying to help and it’s their first! I know I wouldn’t be offended and I’d appreciate it! One of my friends actually helped me with my entire registry and I was so grateful!

Answer

You don’t have to say anything, just get her what you think the baby might need or what you want to give her. I don’t think it would offend her. Plus most of the time people don’t even buy things off the baby registry, they just give whatever they want anyways. Also, when making a registry people tend to add what they want rather then what they need and can get easily carried away lol. Deep down she probably knows this and understands that she might not get what she’s asking for.

Answer

Don’t say anything. I had no idea what to put on my registry so it was a bunch of unnecessary things for my first too lol. People just bought me a bunch of things that I actually needed and didn’t say anything about the registry.

Answer

Maybe you can offer her a registry checklist and just say “hey- saw this online and figured I’d pass it along. Looks like you don’t have a ton on your registry!” And then just get her all the basic stuff as a gift. 
She could be getting it from family as hand me downs ? 
There isn’t much else you can do- kinda gotta let her learn for herself

Answer

I just did my first baby registry and I didn’t put several essential items on there because my parents or my husband and I have already bought them. We also put higher dollar items such as a nice stroller and mattress because we will use for another child down the road and typically people at showers go in together for those items as I’ve done for others in the past. They’re the ones we want and and have thoroughly researched and will get plenty of use out of. If you do bring it up to her do it in a nice helpful way like others have mentioned. First time moms get a tonnnn of unsolicited advice so just be cognizant of that as you don’t want to stress her out at all. I personally get annoyed when people say there’s something ‘wrong’ with my registries because my husband and I throughly research everything before we put on there lol but hopefully your friend takes it well. Good luck!

Answer

Buy something off her registry and then gift her a basket of necessities letting her know that hey these are things that I loved. Whereas I had a practical registries I still had mom friends buy me their tried and true products that I didn’t register for and let me know they these were things that they couldn’t have lived without. And lo and behold those are some of my favorites.

Answer

I would start talking about the things that you liked and used a lot. I would also be like I’m getting ready to go shopping for you do you have xyz—-or xyz is priced pretty well do you already have? If I was in her spot I wish someone would have told me things.. I wanted a lot of unneeded items!! Good luck!

Answer

Be firm but nice and say “hey ___, I took a look at your registry! I know you didn’t ask me for advice, but can I give you some pointers? I want to help you as much as I can in terms of getting what you need for your baby!” 
Two of my friends had babies in 2018 (I’ll call her G) and 2019 (I’ll call her B). G already experienced the newborn stage before B, and B was completely clueless on what to put on her registry. B let G give her tons of pointers and advice on what she does need and what she doesn’t need for her baby, especially in the newborn stage. B was super grateful for G’s hdlp

How to help without offending?

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