partner expecting dinner from sahm

We keep arguing about this over and over ... my partner works 10 hours a day, 4 days a week, so he has a 40 hour workschedule as a mechanic. I'm a sahm of 2 kids being 2 years (just turned) & 9 months. Since he kept complaining that he works all day (8AM-6PM) and expects dinner or some sort of food when he gets I tried to make it happen since I'm home.

Now, I have some days I can manage easily and other days (which are the majority days of my week) I have a hard time getting organized and ready.

I feel like I'm being put down everytime he brings it up saying that he works all day, is on his feet, labouring away. While I'm at home playing with the kids.

The first 3 months after my 2nd child was born were super difficult for me, my family lives overseas and I have no family members or close friends where I live. thanks to covid (my child was born in April 2020) my moms flight got canceled and due to our financial situation my partner could only take a week of work. So I was on my own with 2 kids. I was exhausted, tired and also had ppd. I think once my kiddo was 5ish months old it got better since we then had a nap schedule and I was able to plan and work around those times.

but even then he kept nagging and it did not help me at all, I cried at night feeling helpless as I wasnt even able to leave the house some days because it was such a challenge getting both kids ready and dressed without the oldest having a meltdown.

Ffw, I'd say since about 2 months I'm trying very hard to be a better me and try to take what he said to hard and change step by step. He kept saying I'm being mean to him, barely cook dinner, not wanting sex etc. He isnt wrong, by the end of the day when he got back from work I was just too exhausted and honestly annoyed from having whiny, crying babies/toddlers around me all day, so when he asks what's for dinner or if I made anything, I snapped, more than I wanted to.

So I do see his point and I didnt like myself so I wanted to be a better me. I started to pick out recipes that are easy and quick to make and tried to get groceries in the morning when the kids were most likely to be in a good mood.

I worked on our daily routine to implement more outdoor time so I'd get some fresh air as well. Thanks to covid contacts were very limited so I still felt alone most of the time as I had no one to talk to expect my family or friends via WhatsApp, Facrbook etc. it's just not the same.

I thought I did really well, not perfect and I still need lots of work on my mood swings and how I react and control my emotions but overall I think I did pretty well, until today ...

We just had an argument AGAIN about freaking dinner when he comes from work and what he said shocked me, made me angry and downright baffled me.

"Its to be expected, you knew what you were in for when you wanted to have kids" I have to add none of our 2 kids were planned, so when I said I didn't want to have kids he said "it was your choice when you wouldn't get an abortion" I was shocked and honestly just thought WTF did you just say? With the 1st we actually talked about it and he was neither for or against having a child and I just knew I couldn't live with the "what if" if I would have gone for an abortion. The 2nd child I was more freaked out but he was calm and said we can do it. Sooooo it's not like I decided everything on my own, I asked for his input and honestly if he doesn't want it, leave, i wouldn't be the first single mom. Of course now he loves his kiddos and is a good dad. our relationship overall needs work but I'm so over his nagging for dinner.

Yes I'm home and yes, some days are great and I get so much stuff done but others I just can't cope and I try to go out so my kids get fresh air but I dont go to the store because I know I will end up with one kid being whiny and I'm already exhausted enough so I try to pick my battles. Since covid I usually order groceries online and just pick them up, but then the cooking part is such a looooong process. The other day I made spaghetti bolognese, it took me almost 2 hrs 🙄 I know its not his favorite but at least its food, he comes home and makes himself a sandwich...

Sooooo long story, I needed to get that off my chest. sorry

any advice how I can help my relationship to go uphill again? any tips, tricks to help me to feel like having sex again, and for overall more energy?