Why do I feel bad?

Question

Opinions ladies please! I’m 36 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I’ve had such a bad pregnancy and Covid has not made it easy at all! I’m sure you all are aware being pregnant during a pandemic is extremely scary. I’ve struggled with panic attacks, pelvic separation which I needed pt for and currently going for iron transfusions because I’m extremely anemic. It’s just been rough and all I want is to hold my baby girl. So my last obgyn appointment I was informed on the covid guidelines that have been put in place at the hospital for when I deliver my baby. Both my spouse and I need to pass a covid test and if he’s positive he will have to leave. If I’m positive I woo deliver but they will take the baby from me immediately and take her to the nursery. So long story short my husband does not take this virus seriously at all and it’s scaring me. In recent events his daughter went to Disney and returned 2 dates ago. By law she should be quarantined with her mother for 2 weeks or until a negative test result. He wanted to have a cake for her yesterday and give her presents because it was her birthday when she was gone. I get it but I told him that me and the kids woo not be going and if he fires if he could please quarantine at his moms house or go get a rapid test done the next day. He knows the guidelines at the hospital. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and most likely woo have her within 2 weeks and t t asking being exposed this late in the game is not something I’m comfortable with. He just fought with me to the point where he says I just don’t want him to see his other daughter which is false. I told him honestly she’s the last thing on my mind rite now what’s important is that we do not have covid when I go deliver our daughter. You would think he would care more about the baby’s well being but like I says before he thinks covid is “fake news” as he puts it. We have not spoken all day he’s in our room not even acknowledging me. All he cares about is seeing his other daughter and since I put my foot down snot him quarantining at his moms house he’s pulling a pity post. It’s so ridiculous but at the same time I feel bad because I know he doesn’t see her much but again my main priority is our baby and having a covid free delivery. Am I wrong?

Answer

I can see his side, I really can. But no I don’t think you’re wrong or overreacting. 
I feel like the deeper issue is the fact that anyone took her to Disney at all ?? Like. It’s a pandemic. Travel is supposed to be limited. I understand birthdays and wanting to celebrate but the entitled mindset is why covid has gotten so bad and we can’t get it under control. And he’s really going to risk you having to deliver the baby alone because he can’t drop the gifts off and watch her open them on zoom? 
I understand being away from your kid is hard, i was exposed to covid at work and had to quarantine away from my son and fiancé until my negative test. But, you do what you have to for the safety of yourself, your kids, and your family. He’s not keeping anyone safe.

Answer

Look up evidence-based birth. They have a form you can fill out stating that you refuse separation from your Infant and that you will not hold them liable if the infant catches Covid. ￼￼ evidence-based birth is a really good resource for Covid information and birth.￼

Answer

Just FYI they legally can’t take your baby from you even if you’re positive. This is not recommended by the CDC or the WHO. In cases where the mother tested positive and the baby stayed with mother and breastfed, the babies did not test positive. I would tell your OB you know your rights and you will speak to a lawyer if they try to take your infant from you without your consent.

Answer

On one hand you can’t expect him to neglect the needs of his other child. To say she’s the “last thing on your mind right now” is a bit insensitive because she’s always going to be on his mind because she’s his child and it wouldn’t be right of you to try to make him neglect her for his new baby. 
But on the other hand he could have at least tried to find a way to safely deliver her a presents and cake. Outside or with a mask would have at least been an effort given she was just at a public theme park. 
At this point it’s on him, he’s risking missing the birth of his child. If he’s not going to take it seriously there’s probably nothing else you can do about it at this point other than keep yourself and unborn child as safe as possible.

Answer

I would be really annoyed. Can your doctor say something to him about being careful until delivery so he can see birth. Maybe lay it out and ask why he can’t FaceTime for two weeks or until the daughter has a negative test you were pregnant before she went to Disney. Also I’d say I know you want to see your daughter but if you get sick you are giving up seeing another childs birth because you couldn’t wait 2 weeks to have cake. To me I’d feel like he was putting the daughter before the unborn baby and with everything with covid I wouldn’t be cool with it. She still has her mom the next 2 weeks if she can’t see her dad if he gets sick you are on your own for something big like a birth which your hubby is supposed to support you through. Maybe you can sit down and really try talking to him.

Answer

I definitely think there could of been some compromise. You put him in a hard spot because both are his little girls and it wasn't him wanting to risk you or the baby. It was his desire to show his other daughter he cared and loved her. Maybe suggest he drop off a cake and present outside the door as a surprise for her. Then video chat her opening it. I understand your concerns I'm 38 weeks myself and we've been quarantine too. It's a hard time to be pregnant. Hang in there momma.

Answer

Why don't he drop it off on the porch?

Answer

Covid has put a lot of strain on a lot of things. I completely understand your pov...I slightly understand his. I don’t know how he thinks Covid is fake news..that would annoy tf out of me alone. Even if they wouldn’t separate you and your newborn if you caught it who the hell wants to put themselves at risk and their family. He could have FaceTimed her then once the results came back then did what he wanted to do. I think I’m another comment you stated he’s not that involved in her life? It’s probably guilt why he is pushing so hard

Why do I feel bad?

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