Wtf is wrong with me !

I just had a abortion about almost 2 weeks ago and I regreat what I did so when my boyfriend came today on me I try to put the sperm in me. I know how this sounds he said you didn't take the abortion serious hell fuck I did I regreat it so much that I want to fix my mistake !

I know i will never fix it but at least I can try. U guys think am crazy probably but I don't know what to do anymore I don't even know what am doing I feel like am a mess for what I did