This is kinda hard to write out. I don’t know if it’s falling out of love or if I’m making myself not love him anymore. I feel sad because I thought this was the person I was going to grow old with. We’ve been together for 8 years we have two babies 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. Before our babies we seemed to be crazy about each other. We also wanted to be next to each and talk. We had our first baby and our relationship changed which I knew it was because now we have a tiny person to give our love and attention to but I still felt loved by him. I smiled every time I heard his voice, every time I saw his face. Then we had our second baby and was hard but still good. When our second baby was around 8 months I saw our relationship changing more and more. He wouldn’t smile at me anymore, he would say bye or hello with a kiss anymore. It felt like I had to force him to kiss me. I gain a lot of weight so I started to feel like I was just disgusting to him. This still kept changing. We wouldn’t hug anymore. I would try to hold his hand and he would give me a fake smile and slowly let go or push me off. At first I would tell myself it’s all in my head we’re just tired from give our love and attention to our kids we’re okay. Then it slowly started turning to asking me if I had showered because I smelled. My answer was “ I change diapers all day I get spit food at me (picky eaters both babies) I’m none stop moving (big girl here) I try to shower and you and the kids start crying.” No more smiling when I hear his voice just sadness not more smiling when I see him come home just resentful. I don’t feel like I want to be around him I don’t feel like I love him anymore. But if he doesn’t love me then why stay with me. If I don’t love him why won’t I leave? I don’t know. Maybe we’re both to comfortable.

*I have tried talking to him he doesn’t want to talk about it. Try to ignore it anyway possible. I guess that why I makes me feel even more Down people im just left there