So I just found out I'm nearly 10 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. Complete surprise and shock considering we did everything to prevent pregnancy. I have a nearly 3 year old and a 1 year old. Both my babies were 4kgs and I needed cesareans for both and I also hemorrhaged after both babies, worse hemorrhage with the 2nd baby. I'm so scared, I only have 2 days to make this decision, I live with my family which I love cos its my village, my boys love my family also its good but also we would be pushing it with 3 babies in one room. And I've been drinking 2 redbulls everyday cos well I didn't even know. I want this baby but I'm also scared, I'm scared ill bleed out and die this time. I'm scared the redbull hurt the baby, I'm scared my other 2 babies won't adjust well and they don't even sleep now so it's not as though I even get any rest. I'm happy with my 2 boys, id never even given the thought of another baby the time of day. It seems like 3 would be so hard, my SO doesnt drive and I don't drive cos I just don't want to it makes me too anxious and wondering how we would ever even be able to go out again with 3 babies makes my head hurt. I really don't know if I can do this again but I also don't know if I have the heart to abort this baby. Any advice anyone can offer me would be so greatly appreciated, words of wisdom, encouragement. If your going to be judgemental then just don't comment. I understand there are women who would love to get pregnant so easily so I do not take this decision lightly but this is messing with my mind so much. My SO says he can't handle another baby but will support me no matter what I choose to do. I wish I knew if I could actually handle this. I'm only 25 and getting our own home here is incredibly difficult for very rental that pops up it's 30 applications to the property and I like living with my family. I'm so sad and stressed over this. Please tell me I can do this and I can make it work and it won't traumatise my other 2 babies and maybe I won't hemorrhage and die.