My husband and I have an amazing 4 year old son, and we have always said we want him to have a sibling. After he was born, we said “Let’s wait a year at least before we try again.” A year came and went, and then we said “Let’s wait until he’s 2.” Came and went. “Let’s get him potty trained so we don’t have 2 in diapers.” He’s been potty trained for a year. Now my husband started school so he could move up at his work and has actually gotten a small promotion, but any time I (or anyone else) says anything about kid #2, there’s just stalling and “It’s not a good time” followed by a multitude of borderline reasons (he’s in school, we don’t have enough room, we need to be able to get a van first) He still says things like “Next time we have a kid...” “Whenever we decide to try for another one...” in an abstract “someday” kind of way, but when it’s brought up that our son would do great with a baby brother or sister and I try to start an actual conversation, he avoids even talking about it. I AM ready though. I know it’s not the BEST time, but I’m 34 (almost 35) which isn’t a huge thing these days, but I still would rather be pregnant sooner rather than later just because of some of my minor complications I had last time. Am I being selfish for wanting to go ahead and try? Should I keep trying to talk to him about it even though he’s not really interested in talking about it? How do I even approach the topic when he doesn’t even seem to want to start the conversation?

**EDITED TO CLARIFY**

First of all, I love and respect my husband too much to start trying for another child without his knowledge or consent. Apparently my wording wasn’t very clear based on the comments, and all I meant by “go ahead and try” is I’m ready now and am all for trying for another kid if he is willing. Essentially, what I’m asking is am I being selfish for wanting another kid and being ready right now when he’s not really acted like he’s on board yet, and how do I approach the subject vs should I just drop it for now?

Second, I’m on the pill (stored in my purse in the common area of our house where he is 95% of the time when the 2 alarms go off on my phone reminding me to take it) and he would absolutely notice if I just stopped taking my birth control. Also, he pulls out every time. I definitely couldn’t go behind his back on that one.