My birth plan is to have a home water birth & I’m all confident thinking & saying I can till those painful ass contractions hit. Then I start chickening out. I chickened out with my last pregnancy & went to the hospital just to get the epidural even though I hate hospital births & how you don’t get the freedom over your own body & baby. So it’s either the birth the way I want it & suffer the pain of contractions or go to the hospital, give birth pain free but not get the delayed cord clamping I want for my baby or natural delivery of placenta. 1 minute is nowhere near enough time & they don’t even do it that long. Baby becomes a liability till that cord is cut, that’s why they cut it so fast. I’m so torn. I started having contractions this morning & then those thoughts of doubt entered & I don’t think I can do this. I’ve handled contractions to 5cm but that wasn’t easy. I can’t even imagine what they feel like closer to birth. Plus I embarrassed myself to my midwife last time when I decided to go to the hospital, & don’t want to embarrass myself again. I would definitely not go back to her a 3rd time if I did. I don’t know what to do. My contractions have stopped for now, but when they come back full force, I honestly don’t know if I can stick it out. I get really painful contractions & my tolerance is low. I really admire the rockstar Moms who go med free. I don’t know how you all do it.