I have two kids, my daughter will be 3 on the 24th and my son is 3 months. I love them to death, they are everything to me. My daughter wasn’t my first pregnancy though, albeit my first one was short lived. I had an early miscarriage (or I guess the correct term would be chemical pregnancy) six months before getting pregnant with her. I only knew for a few days before the tests turned negative that I was pregnant. I often wonder what life would have been like had that pregnancy been successful, then I start to feel guilty for wondering because then I wouldn’t have my daughter. I also feel like I don’t have the right to mourn or say I lost a pregnancy since I only knew for a few days and I obviously wasn’t that far along. Before this happening I was one of the people that would say at least you know you can get pregnant when someone would lose a pregnancy. That was very insensitive and naive of me. I say I wish it never happened, but then I wouldn’t have the beautiful kids I have now. However, I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy. It was by far the hardest thing I’ve gone through (emotionally and mentally, not physically.) I feel like I don’t have the right to be sad since I only knew for so little, but I don’t want to make it seem like it didn’t matter.

I’m sorry this is so over the place, I’ve never really talked about it so openly.