I just need some support or encouraging words.

My husband and I recently talked about our savings because we plan on doing some traveling once covid is over. 

I got a bit emotional about it because I’ve always seen our savings as a savings for a baby but we’ve also talked about the realistic expectations. We may not be able to have children. Adoption is out of the question for us (we have been denied due to personal reasons) and having our own biological kids may be the only Way we have kids but we’ve struggled with infertility.

Yes I’ve done all the testing, doctors appointments, I’ve seen in RE, and I’m working on my body now for pregnancy but a part of me just feels like it’s not going to happen, and that’s not me being negative or a downer but I feel it in my soul that my heart yearns to be a mother but I physically cannot be one. 

It’s just really hard because for the past three years we’ve saved money, spent it because life happens and started saving again with the same intention of spending it on a child but when I look at my savings account and I begin to think that money will never be spent on a child and it breaks my heart. I never wanna touch it because in my heart I feel like it’s truly meant for a child and that’s all I want to use it for and I may not get the chance to do that.