Why do married men do this

Question

I don’t understand why married men do this. I’ve even searched the internet for answers and can’t comprehend. My husband was spending countless amounts of money OUR WHOLE MARRIAGE on Cam girls/only fans. Just recently he stopped having sex with me, turning me down, stopped paying attention to me. I’m not trying to justify that I am the perfect wife because I am not. But I’m ALWAYS sexually available. I have a higher sex drive than him but never demand it from him. He says his libido is way down now. I’m always here to talk to him, I always listen about his problems at work and do my best to remember everything he tells me. I do everything for him. Cook clean everything. Why does he feel the need to spend all this money on these cam girls??? Is REAL pussy really not as good at his hand and these cam girls? And I figure he talks to them about his day and stuff... so what is it. Was I really not enough that he had to go pay to see some pussy. I swear I don’t think I’ll never understand. I read that it has to do with their insecurities but I literally never make him feel bad about him self. 😞 I just can’t believe this is happening to me.

Answer

Sooooo this isn’t a married men thing. Not an all men thing either some people whether man or woman do this.
Sorry this is your reality but definitely figure out what you want to do.

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The low libido thing is such a joke to me because if thats really an issue then they should see a doctor for hormone imbalance. It's not a reason to find attention elsewhere.

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Oh no no. In my eyes this is cheating and it would not go well. You sound like you are way to good of a woman for this man. Please go find someone who values you.

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This is a him thing and not a married guy thing. Some men are like this but I think most aren’t. He probably did this long before you guys were married.

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I’m gonna be honest with you as to why. When it comes to women on the Internet, there’s variety variety. You don’t just watch one TV channel, when you get bored, you change the channel, there’s so many options, and sex is so freely given. And on these paid sites women will do whatever they want, treat them like a king, no fighting no arguing, they are his escape from reality. And it seems that the older men get or the more money they have or the more powerful job they have etc. whatever the excuse, they feel that they can get away with more things. Having a girlfriend on the side, we’re having a couple, what are their needs are not being met or fulfilled, they will do what you don’t do, without the responsibility, without the commitment, without a complaint. She’s happy to see him, she treats him like a king, like a God on an altar, he’s got the best of both worlds, his curiosity, his fetishes, his fantasies, and all of his physical emotional mental needs are all being met, he supported by you, he’s got the connection physically emotionally mentally from you and these other women, even though you were giving of yourself selflessly, he still in a selfish mode unfortunately. He wants the best of both worlds, his cake and eat it too, and he knows you’re not going anywhere which is why you tolerate it. He knows you don’t wanna be alone, the first time that some thing happened, should’ve been the last time that it happened. He knows he can get away with murder, he knows that you will tolerate whatever, and this is exactly why he continues to do it. Whatever you are not changing you are choosing. You are choosing to tolerate this, you are choosing to allow it to happen, you are choosing to allow it to bother you, and you are choosing to allow it to continue. You are choosing to stay with your partner, you are choosing to tolerate the behavior. And that’s the bottom line. I know plenty of men who cheat, what do they have been married 15, 20 years, whether they own property or have children or own a business together, nothing makes a man’s day except his honoring the commitment that he made to you daily. It’s a judgment of his character, who he is as a man, and who you are as a woman. You are correct, he doesn’t see you as enough. He sees you as a back up plan as an option, not what he really wants, which is why he looks elsewhere. Whether it’s online, because he doesn’t feel it’s truly cheating because he’s not physically having sex with them that’s his loophole in his mind how he justifies it, things could always be worse he could be out having multiple girlfriends or the cute girl at the office or whatever it may be. He doesn’t feel guilty doing it, they may feel guilty when they get caught, but the fact that you stay and you tolerate the behavior, tells him that the behavior is acceptable which is why he keeps doing it. You got your answer as to why, whether you are happy about the Y, or not but you got your answer. The mail mind I understand it completely because I grew up in a house full of men and have been through soooo many relationships. I’ve taken so many psychology classes, I’ve had nothing but male friends all my life, I understand the mail mind with fantasy and fetishes and so many other things. And the men that I’ve been with, have told me why they do things as well. They got the best of both worlds, they aren’t complaining, they are enjoying themselves thoroughly. And whether their wife knows or not is a relevant to them, because they are living out there fantasy, they got you at home with the kids, White rock the boat, and he gets to enjoy himself as he pleases. That’s exactly why. Yes it sucks for the wife, yes it sucks for the other woman, whether she believes he’s gonna leave his wife or they’re gonna run off together or whatever it may be whatever fantasy she’s living as well, either he’s stringing her along and telling her what she wants to hear or sometime she doesn’t even know he’s married. It is what it is. However they justify it to make it acceptable and ok. ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼

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I could of written this myself except mine used a free sight, I found out because I came home from work early I was 8month pregnant at the time. 
I have no advice I just hope you do what’s best for you, I’m 3months on and still find myself thinking about it. X

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That's just your man honey my man doesn't do this and I'm sure most married men don't... there's deeper issues here. He needs therapy for his insecurities

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My ex of 10 years did this there’s no explanation I’m freaky,horny and was always down to have sex! He actually wound turn me down then later when he fell asleep I’d look through his phone and he was on those sites but turned me down! I used to think it’s me but it wasn’t my boyfriend bow is obsessed and can’t keep his hands off me. Sorry love

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Get you a whole new man. Not every man does this. Sure, men watch porn. That’s fine, but it’s affecting y’all marriage and that’s not okay to you. He’s cheating you out of a loving affectionate marriage. I’d be leaving and finding someone better.

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My husband is an ass but he doesnt blow money on porn. He does on old trucks but still

Why do married men do this

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