So this was my pregnancy and didn't go as planned and so far neither has me being postpartum. I wasn't suppose to be due until 08 March 2021 and I dont know what I did wrong. I ended up having pregnancy induced hypertension towards the end of my second trimester which could have been treated if the doctors actually listened to me. And before you ask yes I did drink water and ate healthy and at least attempted to go on daily walks for my exercise. My blood pressure got worse in December, I was approaching that level of concern and my doctors did nothing. I was struggling to breathe but they told me it was normal because I was in my third trimester. On top of that I gained a lot in little time from the previous 3 appointments and they fat shamed me instead of seeing what the problem was. I went home and cried my eyes out. I asked to see a different doctor after that appointment and luckily I was able to find a doctor that I can talk to. Before my next appointment I went into the hospital because I felt so sick and I kept throwing up. Once again my bp was in the 130s/ 90s. My doctor saw me and moved the appointment up. At this appointment, She did a growth scan on me after seeing how high my bp was. She asked me to do a 24hr urine collection. My husband and I went to the hospital to drop it off and we came home. But once again I felt so sick, I started throwing up and then I went to lay down. My doctor called my husband's phone since I didn't pick up and told us to come in immediately. So we go back to the hospital and she tells me that the amount of protein in my urine was insanely high and then diagnosed me with pre-eclampsia with severe features. She told me that I wasn't leaving the hospital pregnant. I was only 32w5d. They gave me magnesium and put me on bed rest and I ended up giving birth to my daughter way earlier than I wanted so she spent her first 5 weeks in the NICU. I feel disappointed, angry and ashamed of myself. Every day that I went home without her I bawled. I feel depressed, im still upset with myself even though she's home now. On top of that I dont sleep much because she doesn't like being put down or she'll scream til someone holds her. I feel sad and angry and guilty and miserable. Idk what to do. I can't make sense out of what in feeling sometimes.