Hello, so I am not exactly sure where to start. When I was with my ex-boyfriend I did not like having sex, I did not like to be intimate, I realized afterwards I possibly lost feelings during it all. What I am confused about is... Is this rape? Or sexual assault?... My ex-boyfriend always wanted to have sex and I didn’t, I didn’t feel comfortable having sex with him. When we did have sex, I would force myself to because I knew if I didn’t he would get sad or upset. He made me feel pressured into having sex with him. One time we had sex, I really didn’t want to and he knew but I did it anyways and I started crying, balling my eyes out, I told him to stop but he said he thought that meant keep going. After that incident and since then whenever I think about the sex we had, it makes me cry, I don’t think of sex the same and it feels weird to me now. I realized today that, that uncomfortable feeling I felt wasn’t just that, I felt traumatized by the sex and him, I felt gross and disgusted with myself. It wasn’t his fault because I didn’t speak up right? so is this rape? I’m not sure but it feels so wrong.