**possible TW, I mention calories and self harm**

I hope this makes sense, I just need some advice.

I have a Gyno appointment coming up, and I have some concerns I need to talk to the doctor about. I have a super hard time losing weight unless I’m killing myself at the gym and eating no more than 1,000 calories (that sounds dramatic, but I am so serious, and I am almost 50 lbs overweight). I have random dark hairs that grow on my neck sometimes, acne (I am 27), constantly tired, my sex drive is quite low, my hair is thinning, I have never missed a period, but my cycles vary between 27 days and 37 days, among other things. I just know something is not right, I don’t know if it’s my thyroid (my two sisters and mom have hypothyroidism) or if it’s something else.

However, every single time I talk to a doctor about these concerns, the ONLY solution they give me is to go on hormonal birth control. Birth control makes me miserable and majorly depressed. Like, the only time I have ever had suicidal thoughts has been while on birth control. When I tell doctors I don’t want birth control, they either roll their eyes or ignore me and pressure me into taking their sample pills. At this point I feel crazy. I do not want birth control, it never made any of my issues any better, and I just want a doctor to take me seriously. I just want a real answer instead of being told I am fine, followed by “birth control will even out your hormones” that apparently are fine.

Has anyone else been in my same position? How did you get a doctor to listen to you? How did you get to the bottom of your problem? How did you advocate for yourself?