My best friend, my other half, the person I share and do everything with just told me she’s pregnant and I got mad and walked away...

Let me give you all a little back story...

So my husband and I are best friends with my friend and her fiancé we are all inseparable. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years (in June). I have had all these tests ran, my husband just got tested (still waiting on results) but so far nothing is happening..

I vent to my best friend all the time about how badly I want this. Even tho her response always is “why?” Or “I don’t want kids for a long time” or my favourite is “I hate kids”....

her and her fiancé both say that all the time and I hate it. They tell me that I need to wait a few more years before I get pregnant because if I get pregnant now then I’m just going to ruin all the fun we could be having..

They’ve said many hurtful things that have sent me home crying about how kids are a bad decision and etc.

But today... today they show up, unexpected.. keep in mind I was hoping for a BFP this cycle and happened to start my period early so I was upset, oh and I’m sick on top of that..

they barge in my house and he yells “welp, she’s pregnant”....

I was in complete shock, I thought it was a joke. When I realised it wasn’t I said “congrats?” And she said “thanksss?”.

I couldn’t hold back the tears so I got up and left the room and I didn’t return until I heard them leave..

My husband was mad at me for not being supportive but.. I was so angry.

How... how can two people who claim to “hate babies” and “not want kids” get pregnant without even trying!! And yet, I am here trying with every ounce of my being and nothing. Nothing at all.

I know looking back I shouldn’t have left the room. I just couldn’t handle it all at one time.

I did call her and apologize but... deep down I didn’t fully mean it...

Am I as horrible of a person as I feel.. please feel free to put me in my place. I know I need it.

I just feel so so so alone. And life’s so unfair.