What would you do

My husband seems to have a huge problem distinguishing what's an acceptable relationship between himself and other women. He's not pretending he doesn't know, he literally doesn't understand it's not acceptable for say himself and a female coworker to make sexual jokes for example so it's caused some issues over the years. His excuse has always been that that's how the industry is, it's nothing personal or meaningful.

A few years back my husband had an emotion affair that seemed to be on the cusp of a physical one. I found out as he didn't clear his emails from an old phone I started to use and one of their steamier ones were like right on top. He acknowledged that was very wrong of him.

Anyway, it's been about what.... three? four? years since and for the most part we've worked out our issues, but I still check his phone every now and again (with his permission).

Around August / September last year I got extremely upset with him because I noted on his itemised phone billing, he was getting a lot of phone calls from a lady he does business with. They were daily, they were between 10-45 minutes at a time and this was at a time where my husband would take forever to come back to my messages or would not answer my calls.

He had a call recorder so I had listened to a few of the phone calls and found they were all personal calls. I get it to a point - you have to build a relationship with the person you're doing business with but such long personal calls when your wife can't get an answer out of you?

I took him up about that, he battled to understand why it was not acceptable for him to grant this lady so much of his time during the work day while I, his wife, battled to get any communication out of him. It took forever for him to understand my point of view. He requested to deal with a new guy and we left it at that.

So last night at about 22:15, my husband was in the shower and I hear his phone go off. I think what an odd time to send a message so I check in case it's an emergency and it's actually an email so I leave it... But then I see the name of the lady he used to deal with in his mails. I open it and it's just plain business, fine.

But then do a search in his mails and in October, I see a mail thread that very clearly had some deleted mails. It was business at first, then my husband typed an email saying "admit what?", but the mail he was responding to had obviously been deleted because the previous one was a quote. Then the next mail was him saying, "I don't know then". Again, her mails were very clearly deleted.

When he got out the shower I asked him very vaguely if he's still talking to people he shouldn't be. He made a stupid ass joke instead of just answering my question and now I'm feeling extremely angry, paranoid and insecure again.

He doesn't have the call recorder anymore because he got a new phone end September and hasn't downloaded a new one, but I see he has received long phone calls from her number, but not as often as he used to (IE once every week or every two weeks vs daily) but I don't know if it's her or the guy.

I don't know if I should bring it up. The mails are from October so I mean it could be a done and dusted situation, or he could be deleting mails still, maybe even call logs, and I wouldn't know.