Losing myself after miscarriage

It’s been so hard to keep my head on straight. December 2020 I miscarried at 5 weeks, and then again February 1st.

How do you go on? I’m being totally honest, I’ve given myself a long talk about, “am I just using this as an excuse?”

An excuse to be shitty and emotional towards my husband, and fall behind on my housework.

I can’t sleep and I can hardly eat the way I want to, its all fast food because I absolutely do not want to cook.

Does anyone have any advice on how to pull myself out of this?