Okay ladies...

I see the comments/advice "oh you should just leave him" when cheating or abuse is occurring...

It's not that easy.

I am a very strong person

Educated, employeed, and was confident.

ITS HARD TO ADMIT TO YOURSELF YPUR BEING ABUSED!

.... Its even harder to "run away" to a safe place without feeling weak, stupid, and judged when they ask what happened.

I left my fiance 2 months ago with my 1 year old and while 7 months pregnant at 2 am after a roller coaster year of being made to feel like I was crazy for questioning him. Only to find out he was having on going relationships with atleast 6 other people. While I worked, took care of 4 kids, the house, ect.

Things had gotten physical in the last year.. put through a wall, bruises all over, furniture/items destroyed because of the "anger I cause him". the last time was a week before Christmas when I was slammed into the wall by my neck because I "rolled my eyes at him".

I knew then that he wasn't the man that I had fallen in love with and he no longer saw me as a person... I was simply a babysitter, house keeper, and someone to pay bills... he had no love for me.

Without tell him I called my brother and dad at midnight to drive 2 hours to get me and my baby...

I sat in silence the whole ride home feeling so embarrassed that they must think so little of me now for allowing it...

Shame.. disappointment.. confused...

I left the home I built, the job I LOVED, 2 step daughters I raised for 6 years, and a person that I really really did love.

Reading all the comments on these women's posts about "well I wouldn't allow that..""I'd just leave" ..ect... make things worse.

So please keep that in mind when we are trying to summon the courage to admit to ourselves we need help.. offer a place to vent.. a link to resources, prayers..

And also side note.. if you know a dude is in a relationship.. him hooking up with you doesn't make you special.. (all 6 of the people he was dating know me.. so.. )

If he will cheat with you.. he will cheat on you..