My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and he’s always struggled to keep up on self-hygiene things, keeping his room clean and brushing his teeth specifically. He used to be bad about showering but bc of his environment, he now showers daily . He has mental health issues (Bipolar, ADHD, anger issues and a few others) that partly stem from his past. When he was as young as 5, he was taking care of his baby siblings, because they were all neglected. So he tells me that a big reason, aside from depression episodes, that he forgets these things is bc they were never routine to him growing up.

Which I am trying to be understanding of, but we are about to have our first baby and I want him to get serious about it. His breath stinks and his gums are noticeably irritated.

I’ve been trying to think of ways to bring it up without making him feel bad for it. I already had to tell him his breath smelled bad but I felt terrible bc he was obviously upset. So I know it would just make him self conscious and hurt if I bring it up bluntly.

Lately he’s been bringing up wanting to get into BDSM and other things to spice up our sex life. Telling me he wants it REALLY bad. So I told him that if he could work on getting consistent, we could buy more stuff to try it out.