I have two healthy boys. Last year I had a miscarriage of unknown gender and then I lost a girl. I found out Monday that this pregnancy is a boy. Every time I got pregnant I wanted a girl and every time I heard boy it just gets harder and harder to hear. I bonded with my boys and loved them when they were born. But this time I have felt so disconnected from this pregnancy now. I know after two miscarriages I am supposed to just be grateful for a healthy baby so I feel very awful I can’t get over this disappointment and feel connected to the baby again. Please don’t leave cruel comments. I already feel so terrible and didn’t post about this when I found out, but I can’t seem to get over my disconnection.