My husband and I have ttc since August of 2012 for our first child....no success what so ever. I've never seen a positive pregnancy test other than from testing out my trigger shot. He's 30 and I'm turing 30 in May... I always thought I would be done having kids at 30..I often calculate our due date if we were to get pregnant and we definitely won't be having a baby in 2021...I'm just feeling so depressed.. I feel like I have nobody to talk to, my sister is pregnant with her last baby and my best friend..more like only friend is also pregnant with her last baby and they are both due summer of 2021. I'm happy for them but I've always dreamt of being pregnant at the same time as my bbf or sister... all 3 of us pregnant at the same time would have been a dream come true but I know that is no longer a reality that can happen. I have pcos and my husband has low sperm count and morphology. He is scheduled for varicocele repair this month.. at first I was hopeful and excited and now I'm just afraid it won't help and we will never become parents.. I feel like I planned my life out for having a family, stayed on the safe route of buying a house, going to college and such...but it doesn't bring me joy and if it weren't for wanting kids, I never would have went to college, stayed in this town close to family or played such a safe life.... I wish I could just have a yes or no answer if we are having kids...if no.. then I would pack up in a heart beat and just travel in a hippe van and just try to see as much as the world as possible. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I just want to escape this reality of infertility and turning 30 🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺