This might be a little long winded, and will definitely be a tiny bit explicit.

So, I've had an inkling for a number of years now that I might be bi. But I could never really make sense of the feeling, because I honestly don't like girl on girl sexual stuff. In fact, guy on guy is way more my speed. Which of course I figured that's because I know I like men.

So to kind of figure out myself, I've recently started to try imagining different types of women, and musing whether I'm just feeling admiration, or actually attraction. And it definitely feels like attraction, until I add myself into my imaginings. Then it all kinda falls apart.

Somewhere in my thought experiment, I started to drift off, and I think I started dreaming, cause when I came back to consciously pondering, I was surprised to see myself in my head pegging a woman! And it was hot!

So long story short, I am apparently into women, but only in a male capacity. That was the hookup; to touch and give I'm all fine with, but receiving as a woman, from a woman, I really can't do. (I mean, it also clears up why my favorite porn is male pov)

So what does this mean? Am I bi? Am I trans (or nonbinary, or gender fluid)? I've always been comfortable with myself, but I've also never tried to fit gender norms.

Just to be clear, this wasn't like a weird, one time thing. It really felt like all the pieces I've been missing fell into place. And it's not a dominance thing either.

Also! I'm married. He's fine, but like staunchly vanilla in the bedroom. Which is partially why I never really thought too much about myself until now.

Ok, sorry again for it being long. TL;DR I'm a married woman who just found out I'm attracted to women, but only as a man? IDK, honestly.