So do yall understand this or whats happening? I got told I was stupid and childish for saying this. Background I'm about to be 20 and I gave my virginity away being 18.

-My first attachment, the boy I thought I was in love with, I gave my virginity to. At that time in my life, I thought I had to do anything for him to be with him and to make him stay, I let him have my virginity. He was going to leave me and I had thought he was my everything. He definitely is not, ANYWHOO... I didn't want to lose it yet. I wasn't ready but he was going to leave me and so I felt obligated to gave him my body.

I gave my virginity away with permission because he wanted it, I didn't want it. The whole thing was uncomfortable and I remember all of it. Afterwards while he took a shower, I cried on the ground because I felt disgusted and regretted it. (He ended up cheating 4 months later so, yea).

I didn't know who to tell and this seems like the most honest place I could get responses from. I need yalls thoughts or responses, please.