Hi Mama’s- I’m honestly not throwing myself a pity party here and this may be a bit long for some but I do thank you if you read my thoughts as I’m pretty much sharing this with people I’ve never met before :( but I just feel like I have to get this off my chest, and I don’t want to share with my Sister or close friends bc I know they will likely judge me.

When I became pregnant I was 112lbs I’ve been underweight for most of my life due to GI issues but I’m now up quite a bit at almost 7months. I’m sad to share that despite my efforts of my diet and exercise, my body has held on too fat that I have never experienced holding on too before, such as (under arms, back, thighs etc,..).

My breast have become so large now that I’m pregnant that they hang and look disgusting, (the sagging is due to previous weight loss when I was really young like 18yrs old), I’m now 32, but the sagging breast was just something I learned to deal with. I’m embarrassed for my husband too see me this way. I feel he may honestly look at me and think, (yuck, what happened to my wife 😢). However; he ALWAYS says, you are beautiful and every day I love seeing you grow our child and love you more and more. (Honestly, that is hard to believe and feel it’s a big lie bc I can’t even stand looking at myself in the mirror, nonetheless him as a man looking at me).

The biggest thing for me and this may be TMI but perhaps someone may relate I noticed since I have become pregnant our intimate life has substantially decreased by a lot, i don’t ever want too anyway bc I feel out place in this new body and I should actually note. that he currently works nightshifts and I only see him in the AM when he is going to bed and when he wakes up to go back to work in the evening, we literally see/talk to each other for a total of an hour (if that) per day. I should also note. He works in a chemical plant refinery and projects as these are not forever. This project should be done in about a month, (we thought it would be great extra money for when baby comes).

Anyway, besides the fact of his crazy job and hours. I believe my biggest issue is accepting this new body I see while 32yrs of my life seeing a completely different person. It’s really HARD for me to accept how much my body has changed and I’m so embarrassed by it as well bc people’s comments are so annoying. I get so much anxiety when I have too meet old friends or family that have not seen me bc their first words are Wow, you’ve put on weight, and since I was underweight before pregnancy some even say stuff like you look better this way, you should keep this weight even after baby etc... anyway I think it’s rude bc I did not choose to be underweight I actually have tons of GI issues and until now that I’ve become pregnant I could never gain past 125lbs.

My sweet sister is hosting me 2 separate baby showers that I sadly do not look forward towards bc of the comments of people. I have no idea why it bothers me so much for people to comment on my image.

Long story short, I don’t like how I look, I feel very I secure (despite people telling me, pregnancy has done you well). I just want to love my entire body and all I love is the growing baby inside of me and my cute bump, other than that, I’m having a hard time coping with this new pregnant body and since my husband travels tons for work I’m a bit intimidated that he will find a sexy woman out there and leave me and my son, which honestly end of the day, I know I’ll be fine. But what will hurt me most is my self esteem and I’m sure I will be extremely heart broken. He says I’m crazy for even thinking this, but I know women and I know men, and I’ve seen and gone through tons at 32yrs old and sadly I’ve been cheated on before and just generally a bit worried.

I have had ALL this on my mind. I’m sorry for my story book sob story here, I just needed to Vent and of course, advice, or if anyone else has gone through this and can share I would appreciate it!! 💓💓🙏🙏

Thanks mamas!