Advice

Hey y’all i really need some friends to talk to I don’t have any in real life and I’m going threw some stuff with my relationship with my boyfriend going on 4 years we are both 19 we started dating the beginning of sophomore year of high school  so I just really need some advice my boyfriend has never cheated on me that I know of but the issue is he always seems to get girls Snapchat’s and other things like that he’ll meet someone new on Xbox and get her Snapchat but if I make a friend on Xbox he always try to look threw my phone but does it in a

way where he’ll just say he’s just looking for a picture or something if that makes sense I never look threw his phone I want to I’m not gonna lie but I don’t, I feel like I can trust him but it always feels like he puts more effort in to other girls more then me he always tells me how some girl needed his help and he helps her all good and dandy but when I have my really bad days all he does it gets mad at me for shutting down that hurts to think he cares more for strangers he’ll forget In time but not put any effort in me his long term girlfriend. Me and my cousin are pretty close he used to play Xbox with us all time but a few weeks ago we got in a fight over some family stuff and he brought up he doesn’t like my boyfriend because he goes out of his way to get girls numbers and Snapchat’s and I already knew this but I was trying to look past it honestly I know he’s a really friendly guy but he gets kinda possessive when I meet a new person why is he allowed to have girls that are friends but I’m not allowed to have guy friends it makes me feel honestly kinda uncomfortable it always feels like I’m competing for his attention there is more but that’s kinda the main thing right now and I know I’m gonna get the “just break up with him” I really do love him but I think all the stuff we have been threw and my mental health is really clouding my judgment I used to be so head over heels for him but I just don’t feel that anymore and I don’t know if I’ve fallen out of love with him or if I’m just in a bad rut. my parents love him so much his mom doesn’t really like me she says she does but the vibe doesn’t say she does. I don’t remember what it feels like to be Single but it’s feeling more and more like I am he doesn’t do the things he used to but I just don’t want to let go yet it’s so scary we have so many memories i think I know the answer but I don’t want to let go yet I think that’s it for right now I know the story is all over the place I have ADD and typing stories is hard it’s all over the place