Any advice?

Question

What can I do if I feel like i’m falling out of love with my boyfriend of 4 years. I don’t want to have sex anymore, I just don’t feel anything anymore. I want so much more in life and it seems like he doesn’t. He does pay for everything but I’m talking about bettering himself to get us out of this house that we’re in. He also hasn’t proposed either. We have a child together and his family is full of crazies. His mom has been a HUGE issue in our relationship. I don’t truly feel like he feels as upset as I do about his mom. I feel like he makes decisions to not let her see our baby bc of me. I’m in the relationship mostly bc I need to protect my son and I rather deal with it. I feel like i’m checking out mentally from the relationship & it’s so sad in my opinion. I don’t even know what to do...😓

Answer

Youve created a family. And im gonna tell u like i would a man in the same position..... you should utilize all professional resources before disrupting your family. When u have children and create a family unit.... although your happiness is important u should consider overall safety, protection, welfare, and emotional and mental benefit of your child and your partner as well. You didnt mention abuse or selfishness. Sometimes in relationships.... long term... there are seasons and periods of drought, rain, snow, summer and spring. No long term relationship is a constant of happiness. You have to wither the storms and evolve and grow and learn. You have to treat a relationship like a garden. Its work. You have to water it and sometimes even pluck weeds constantly to keep it looking nice. Sometimes u have to plant something beautiful or different for a better outcome. 
    A few things i think you should consider...
   1. Couples therapy to help u both gain understanding and learn tools to better serve eachother and the family youve created. Sometimes a third set of eyes can help give perspective on life goals and in laws
2. Personal therapy or counceling to help explore your own identity. It kinda sounds like your life is wrapped up in him and your kid. Have u been fostering your own personal developement and growth?  if he does provide foe his family that should not be taken lightly. Some men require u work or can not afford to do that.... or are stingy and ungiving to their family. So please dont toss aside what may indeed be a good thing to chase greener pastures that do not exist.
3. Have you considered if the relationship ends how will u support yourself? Will u be burdening others? How will this impact your quality of life having to be a single parent?

Answer

Sometimes change in the other person starts with you. If you say you want more out of life than he does maybe you should start pursuing those things, maybe that will motivate your spouse once they see you doing.  If you do that and still nothing changes with him, you will be good to go on your own. Its a good thing to do for yourself whether you stay or go. Also sometimes what you are not happy with the other person is a reflection on how you feel about yourself.

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