Conflicted : Mom Vs Boyfriend

Hi, recently I’ve been struggling to choose between having to keep living with my parents of starting a life with my BF.

So backstory, My family is very traditional, the women in our family go to school get their degree then engaged then married and then move out of the house. And for the longest time it was just my mom and me alone depending on each other a lot before she got remarried. I’m really close to my mom and I love her so much, she can’t speak English too well and has a hard time getting around by herself so she depends on me for a lot , which I never really minded until I started dating my boyfriend.

I met him when I was 17 and he was 21.( we’re now 21 and 25 ) we dated a year and we’re official by the second. Funny enough they’re both Libras days apart from each others bdays but completely the opposite. If it were up to him we’d be married by now (and he’s asked a lot )and living together and building a business. He’s very business oriented and is currently running one himself and it’s going so well( I’m very proud!). He’s supper smart and on track when it comes to having his business and coincidentally I’m studying business too at school and psychology.

When I’m with him I feel motivated, he has his own business building and I love going there to get my homework done. And the atmosphere lifts me up and makes me want to start getting stuff done in my life . At home I live in a one bedroom apartment with my 4 family members, we try to keep it clean and organized but it always looks clutters no matter how much we try to fix it. So no matter how hard I try I can’t be very productive in my house. There’s been times when I’ll have a tiny business idea I’d want to start so I can earn side money but quickly get unmotivated I’m my house when it starts becoming a problem of taking up too much space . So it’s completely the opposite, I feel small and stuck .

For years now I’ve felt suffocated living the way my family does I’m such a tiny space , it creates tensions between all of us .

Recently I’ve been fighting with my mom a lot since I’ve been going out with my bf to meet clients at events or just meals and have gotten back at 2am/3am. She says it’s not lady like and that we’re disrespecting her by coming home so late. She’s upset I spend all my time with him and none with her and says I haven’t been able to help her do her stuff. I understand it’s a really late time to come home and I try to explain to her but I know her anger comes from worry , but it still causes fights .

I’m conflicted on trying to have a balance between the two. I used to do chores around the house but stopped once my stepdad criticized everything I would clean or fix and when he started expecting me to do all that while he sat and watched tv, now I realize it’s meant more work for my mom and a factor to her getting mad at me more easily .She’s not happy in her marriage but is sticking it out for my little sister. But that makes her that much more dependent on me .

I want to be able to find a balance with them two . I don’t want to break my moms heart if I move out . But I’m also scared that if I do move out it’s the wrong thing since I’m not done with school yet . Part of me says that there’s no actual rule book on how once life is supposed to look , like I can move out get married , do school and start a business with my bf all at the same time. But how do I know it’s the right thing to do? How do I give them both what they want ?