Broke up 3 years ago and i still can’t get over him

I was with a guy in 2018 and we had been together since spring of 2016. We had just signed a lease on an apartment so we could move in together. I was making a lot of money full-time driving for Instacart, Shipt, Doordash, and Postmates. He had a job as a mechanic. Anyway, in April of 2018, I was in a horrible car accident where my car got rear-ended by a semi on the interstate. We were stopped and he was going about 70 mph. My mom was killed and I was in a coma for a month after that and my throat got damaged when they first intubated me so I couldn’t talk/yell or anything. I was in a wheelchair for a few months after that, then I graduated to a walker, then a cane, and now I can walk on my own. I lost the ability to drive, which was a big part of our relationship. I first met him at a racing event where I rode in his car while he drove. Anyway, we went to a technical school together for high performance racing mechanics. So racing and fixing cars is all we did and talked about and stuff. I went to his family’s thanksgiving in 2018 and we had a pretty good time and nothing was weird in our relationship and I wasn’t questioning it or anything. For Christmas, I bought him a replacement playstation because we had fun joking around and playing games together and his had just stopped working one day. Starting in like the first week of December 2018, he just stopped replying to my texts. He was ignoring my phone calls and I had talked to his family and they said he wasn’t seeing anybody else or anything like that. His friends said he had been acting weird and depressed. I called his workplace and when they asked who I was and I told them, they hung up on me. Now remember, I still couldn’t drive yet, so it’s not like I could just drive over to him. And I still had no explanation for why he was ignoring me and stuff. So finally in January, he sent me a TEXT to break up with me. 2 years with him and I was planning the rest of my life with him, and he dumps me over a text. I couldn’t believe it. He proceeded to block my number and block me on facebook, instagram, snapchat, everything. So I never even got an explanation. I think he did it because he thought I was gonna be disabled for the rest of my life and he didn’t want to have to deal with that. And I still think my brain just really wants an answer as to why he did that. We weren’t even having any problems in our relationship, or I didn’t think so anyway. I’ve had sex with a few people since then and I was in a relationship for a couple of months after that, but still none of it felt right. I still want him and wish it wouldn’t have ever ended. He just seemed so right for me and i’m blaming myself for it now. Like had I not gotten into this stupid accident, things would be just fine. I just can’t stop thinking about it and it’s been 2 years since then so I feel like I SHOULD be able to let it go and stop thinking about it. How can I do that? Idk just someone please help me. 😔