Okay guys, I know it’s usually mom advice here but I’m hoping for your honest opinions and feedback. My SO and I got engaged in January but I have always wanted a longer engagement so I’m more just trying to brain storm and figure out the possible who/what/where/when stuff.

I’ve always dreamed about a small ceremony (parents, grandparents, siblings only) and then inviting everyone else to a reception so we can celebrate with them. I’ve been asked before if it’s because we want more gifts, which is a hard no. We already own a home, have for years. We don’t need more stuff or money. It’s truly to celebrate. I’ve also been told by a cousin whom I’m close with she thinks it’s rude to not invite everyone to the ceremony, but I refuse to invite everyone.

The problem I’m having is there’s a TON of “obligation invites”. The reception would be around 100 people, that’s with less than 10 friends and keeping it only to aunts, uncles and first cousins. We both have huge families. Part of me just wants to say screw it and elope but I know at least part of my family will be pissed (mainly an aunt and some cousins I’m very close with that wouldn’t be invited, because if we invite them then we have to invite other aunts and cousins etc). I feel like if we do elope I may regret it though since my dream was always a small intimate ceremony and then everyone together with good food, music etc. to celebrate.

Any advice from any of your big days?! I know lots of people say “invite who you want” but I can’t invite 1 set of aunt/uncle and cousins and not invite another 🙈sorry for the Novel!