Question for moms with older sons??

Question

Let's say you're a single mom you have a son who is an adult and two sons that are in elementary. Your son used to always help with the kids like taking them to school, babysitting (etc). Your son got a new girlfriend and starts spending more time with her and not really helping with the boys anymore like he used to, would you not like his gf? 
This is my situation and I just need a mom to help me understand. I don't feel like my bf is obligated to take care of his little brothers, I understand help but his mom used to call in ALL day EVERY day literally.

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The older son doesn't have to help with the other kids. He is not a parent. Of course he wants to spend time with his girlfriend that's what teenagers do. That doesn't mean you should dislike his girlfriend because he wants to live his teenage life without being a babysitter.

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Not a mom, but parents shouldn’t expect the oldest sibling to give up their life to raise the kids THEY brought into the world. That’s not his problem.

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Your son is not the two younger parent. I would be thankful for all he did and make other accommodations.

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No he isn't obligated, but also consider that for I presume some time, he's had a routine with his brothers and he has a bond with them and all that, and that all falls to the wayside for you. That's probably confusing for them too.
No he is not the parent, but he is the older role model. All siblings have some degree of responsibility towards each other. 
So I would probably try get more involved, especially if you see the relationship working out long term.
My husband has a seven year age gap with his younger sister and he didn't drop her for me. I got involved.

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There are so many factors playing into this. Firstly cultural background plays a huge role, we in the western world may think it is not his responsibility many other cultures see it different though. And then is it just disturbing you or is he also bothered by it? Just because you feel uncomfortable with it doesn't mean he thinks the same.

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Your BF is definitely not obligated to take care of his younger siblings unless the mother isn’t well or just not able and that was an arrangement . However he is a grown man and it seems his mother depends on him to care for them so
She can do whatever ... he ain’t their father he’s their brother .. your bf should be able
To enjoy life with you and create his own family and so on .... and she’s just using you as an excuse not to like because your with her son and her son is no longer catering to her every need .... this is just my opinion from the outside looking in

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you’re the mom not him, he can help you but it’s not his responsibility so yes i would still like her if she was nice and all.

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The older son didn't get her pregnant so why is the onus on him? If he still lives in the home, then yeah he should help out, but it shouldn't be expected all the time

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itsnot your child’s job to look after your other children. no i wouldn’t dislike her for helping him have a life of his own.

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Kids are not his responsibility but a balanced helping with them is.

Question for moms with older sons??

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