Where to get the strength to go on...

Question

It was our first IUI treatment and everything went well until I got my period a few days before due. We have been trying for almost 2 years and its been mood swings from both of us. We are early 30s. 
I have never seen anyone impacted this way, when I looked at him yesterday. He was silent and it got me so worried. I know for women, we go on in our own ways. But I never considered that it impacts the partner as well. I am afraid for the sake of our relationship.
What do you think about the difficulty of continuing with treatments?

Answer

TTC is difficult, it’s a rough journey. For years I thought it was only me with infertility issues, but once we started seeing a specialist and did more testing on my husband we found out he has severe male factor infertility. When he found out it absolutely broke my heart, just seeing the look on his face and how depressed it made him. I always knew the feeling of it’s being “my fault” but seeing him and realizing he feel the same changed a lot. But to be honest, I think it brought us closer. He knows how I feel and I know how he feels. & we are really on this journey together. It took a while to come to terms with everything but now we are in a better place. We’ve came to terms with the fact we may never be able to have children. And that can do a lot to a relationship. But we didn’t choose this, we didn’t chose to have fertility issues, we didn’t want to struggle. That’s just what happened. We’ve been with specialists for 6 years, we’ve done 15 medicated cycles, numerous ICIs & IUIs. We spent thousands in testing and treatments. It’s really hard to keep pushing forward and have hope but without hope there’s nothing left. You got to have hope that one day it will work. We will never give up, but it definitely has not be easy. I think at first it put a strain on our relationship but now we are closer than ever and we’ve grown together. Whatever happens it happens to both of us. There are things you just can’t change. You just have to be strong enough to keep going.

Answer

Treatments can be so physically, emotionally, and financially draining. Unfortunately, IUI odds aren’t that great to begin with.. I’m hoping the doctor prepared you guys for that. It also can take multiple tries before being successful, if it ends up being successful. I think knowing this info helps the logical side of the brain, but it really doesn’t help emotionally. Couples counseling to deal with infertility/treatments would be something I’d look into. Or maybe skipping a cycle or two to give yourselves some time before trying again. I’m sorry you’re going through this, treatment isn’t easy.. I myself have been on a break since my last iui in September trying to decide if we are going to move on to ivf or give up on treatments. It’s also hard to see your SO be so upset.. My SO tries to hide it from me for the most part but the few times I have seen him show his emotions about it, it breaks my heart!

Where to get the strength to go on...

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