My husband of nearly 10 years psychologically abuses me and I don’t know how to get out of this relationship.

He has done it since we met (we’re together for 16 years) but I didn’t realise it until recently. Always says I’m stupid, everything I do is wrong, insulting me in front of our kids.

5 years ago I cheated on him with someone I worked with and he found out. I know it’s wrong and I’m not proud of what I’ve done but he decided to stay and to overcome this. However he obviously still uses it on a daily basis to tell me I’m a slut, whore etc. He talks badly about my parents and sister. They live in another country and he never comes with me when I travel with the kids.

I stopped working 5 years ago when our first son was born, before that I worked since the age of 18, during uni, at weekends and I literally worked until the day I gave birth. Before having kids we agreed that he’s career is too demanding (lots of travelling, working many hours a day) and I knew I wanted my kids to be raised by their parents and not a nanny so I stopped working. He keeps mentioning I don’t value money, I didn’t work a minute in my life and I’m not grateful enough.

I can’t tell how many times the kids have seen me cry because of him. I try not to but sometimes he’s so mean I can’t help it.

Two days ago on Sunday he woke up at 9:30 (he always sleeps in, I wake up with the kids at 6 every single day), spent an hour in bed and then went to get ready to play tennis at 12. Before leaving he asked if I’ll be able to make him lunch and i said I’m not sure I’ll have time since I need to make lunch for the kids plus getting the little one to nap.

He snapped at me, yelling at me he doesn’t need me, saying I never do anything for him and that I cant fuck off.

Ever since he doesn’t speak to me unless he has to. He doesn’t get out of his office, he waits until I go to sleep to go to the living room. I just went to ask him something and he literally said “I have no interest in you. From now on I treat you as the nanny of the kids. We can interact during the weekends if we’re doing something with the kids but otherwise don’t talk to me” plus I’ve been making him coffee every morning and bring it to bed and he said “you can shove your coffee I’ll never drink it again and I’ll never eat the shitty food you’re making”

I’m devastated, been crying for hours now and don’t know what to do.

Every time I dare to say that he treats me badly he says it’s because I’m a fucking whore and I deserve to be treated as one.

Don’t have anyone to talk to so I just had to write it somewhere. It’s super long but I had to let it out.