My fiancé (19) recently took a trip to his hometown to get his car from his mom and to see his son. (He has 2 kids with 2 different women who were born 6 days apart... neither of the women know about eachother... and he only has a relationship with one of them. Both boys(babies) are about 7 months old now) we live in one of the 4 corners states... he took a trip to the east coast, where his family and sons are. He saw one of his children... was alone with his ex girlfriend for barely an hour, and had sex with her 4-5 times during this...

I’m 12 weeks pregnant. I was 10 weeks when he got home from his trip. He didn’t get to shower from the time he fucked her to the time he got home. So I could smell her body on him. I could smell her down there... when he tried to hug me and the smell just wafted up at me (gross). He took a shower, I asked him about it, he lied to me.

I have a friendship with his ex. And I messaged her about it. She has never lied to me... she called me and I talked to her alone. She told me he initiated road head, she begged for sex and he said no until she made him feel bad for it and finally he gave in. They did it multiple times. In front of their infant son. She gave me times, relative locations, everything...

I told her I’d call her if he tried to lie to me again. Then I went to talk to him. He lied. Oh god how he lied, so many times. Even trying to gaslight me, asking if I’m really gonna believe her over him. And “do you really think so little of me!? Do you think I’d do that with my son in the back seat!?”

To be honest, yeah. Considering our first time was in close proximity of my little cousins...

I’ve only ever been intimate with him. I’ve never had sex with anyone else. I’ve never even thought of being with someone else...

anyways, he ended up telling the truth and crying and apologizing... but it took an hour to get him to be honest.

It’s been two weeks, and I can’t sleep. I’m getting 2 hours a night, maximum. And they’re full of nightmares. I sleep sometimes while he’s at work. But aside from that I just can’t. I’m hurting. I don’t want to leave him and I don’t want to lose him. I do love him and it is my choice to stay with him... but I’m hurting, badly. And I deserve a lot better than that... especially since he promised me he wouldn’t even be with that girl alone...

I feel like I must have done something wrong.

Like he must be missing something that he needs from the relationship. Because he felt the need to get it from her. Road head was on his bucket list. He can fucking cross it off now because I’m never doing it for him. Not after this bullshit.