I’m so exhausted of fighting the bullshit in my head. I’m physically, mentally, spiritually so tired trying to eat more, eat less, eat this, eat that, don’t eat, food food food. I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but over the last two years I’ve struggled every single time I have to eat and I skip meals as much as possible. I’ve lost 20 pounds over the last six months finally and I’m realizing that it’s never gonna be enough. My husband agrees I should get help and being fed up with it, I’m trying but my insurance is giving me so much shit and it’s making me feel like it’s a sign I shouldn’t bother with it. I don’t know what to do and I feel like it’s all in my head anyway, I feel stupid trying to go to the doctors.

Me in October 2020, 130 pounds

Me in August 2019 on my honeymoon, 120 pounds

Me right now, 109 pounds