Why do boys get support & the talk and not girls?

Question

At least in my case. My brother was allowed to date in HS. He had girls over. My parents found condoms in his room and gave him the talk. They didn’t make a big deal of it. Me, I wasn’t allowed to date. My mom freaked when she found out I even KISSED a boy. Not that I ever needed the talk because I was well aware how to be responsible. I even sought my own birth control when I started being sexually active. Even to this day I’m discreet with my mother. We aren’t comfortable talking about those things. 
I just feel like if or when I get to raise a daughter I’d want to let her know I’m here for her. I’ll let her know not to be afraid to approach me with health concerns and just have an equal opportunity and responsibilities for all my kids.

Answer

I’ve always wondered this myself. It was forbidden I date but my brother on the other hand was allowed to date whoever and whenever he pleased. It wasn’t fair to me in all honesty to be told it’s because he’s a boy? So what. I’m your child too and I deserved the equality.

Answer

That’s how my fiancé’s parents are with their daughter. She’s dating and her mom refuses to even talk about sex with her. My mom, sister and I are close and we got the talk when we were about 11-12. I’ve never been afraid to go to my mom about having sex because she was open about sex from a young age with me and my sister. I couldn’t imagine not being able to go to my mom about sex.

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I have only sisters and we had the talk with mom and dad. Super cringe moment lol but i dont know why theyd tell him and not you!  So important for everyones safety to just have the talk

Answer

Because parents have this mindset that if they don’t talk about it, don’t allow it, and don’t see it, it won’t happen. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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It’s a double standard, they’re so paranoid and afraid of you getting pregnant, my sex talk was you get pregnant you’re kicked out, I’ve never had any kind of relationship with my mother that I could ever talk to her about anything, her only reactions were flip out, overreact, scream and yell, belittle me, and the fact that she’s a narcissist, I think baby boomers, are very selfish and it seems to be the trend that a lot of them seem to be narcissists, controlling, belittling, treating their sons better than their daughters, their daughters are meant to be their slave, my mother is the reason for all of my issues well most of them, and all it does is push you further and further away, makes you look for love in all the wrong places because you don’t get it from home, and just like you if I ever had a daughter or a child, I would want them to be able to come to me, not be scared of being yelled at or abused or disappointed or guilt or manipulation or any other crap, I treat people with love and respect, everything my mother never has done, she does nothing but yell at everyone, and talk shit about everyone behind their back and never has a nice thing to say to me or anyone else. It’s also cultural, depending where you’re from, I can tell you from my own experience a lot of Latino communities, the sons are treated like kings, the mothers treat them and love them and brainwash them into thinking that no woman will ever love them more than their mother which is why they treat women like a dime a dozen, and the daughter is literally called Junkless though which is a sandal or flip-flop, and they treat her like a shoe, the son is six years old or eight years old and being pushed in a baby stroller while the daughter is two and Hass to walk next to the mother, often times they Love their son so much, that usually the father is absent or emotionally or physically absent that she gets her love and attention from her son, and when he grows up, he’s not only a mama‘s boy, but she becomes the monster in law because basically he’s been her husband all these years and now she looks at you as a homewrecker trying to take her husband away. This is also I’m sure common with other races as well, it could also be how their own mother raise them, and how their own family Dynamic was￼￼￼￼￼. If they are old school, back in the day, the only job she could have was a nurse or a teacher, women were not allowed to do other jobs until later on, a lot of times women are told that they’re supposed to be homemakers and not have careers and not be equal as a man, it all depends on race religion, how they were raised, cultural differences, a woman is supposed to be submissive, all kinds of things people are brainwashed into believing either from their own family or traditions. But a lot of times it is a double standard, they’re scared paranoid, that you were going to get hurt or pregnant or taken advantage of when in reality all they’re doing is pushing you further further away and making you do things to spite them, and then stop biting you in the ass on top. My mother and I have the worst relationship, we basically tolerate each other, fight like cats and dogs, she Hass to be right she hast to get her way in or no one‘s happy. They think that you’re going to take care of them in your old age or be their slave until the day they die, and on the contrary their behavior just makes you want to leave as soon as you possibly can, usually with a bad guy just to spite them, or you end up getting pregnant young or with some bad boy or whatever else to either try and prove them wrong or whatever it may be, trust me I have been with the worst of the worst when it came to men, I settle for anything because I didn’t want to be alone because I never got lover affection or attention at home, I have daddy issues, I have so many issues because of my mother, every eating disorder, self harm, emotional eating, you name it. ￼￼￼ The only thing she was ever good for is treating me like shit. It sucks the things that girls have to go through, my brother and his wife they have a great relationship with her daughters, the kind that you would see on TV, they are still sweet and innocent even at 14 and 12, they were raised in Catholic school, all their life, and they’re good kids, I’m straight A’s, when is athletic and the other is artistic and freakishly smart, national spelling bee, she wrote her first second and third album, she paints, she dances, she’s a ballerina, every kind of dance, she’s gifted on both sides of the brain, she has a heart of gold, she would give you the shirt off her back, she’s not into boys yet and she can’t relate to her friends because she still so sweet and innocent and plays with stuffed animals, but her sister is the popular one very sporty, she’s smart, not as smart as her sister is with national spelling bee and everything else, but she still gets good grades, she’s got a little interrogator, she can break anybody down, I can see her being a repo man or a bounty hunter lol she’s a little control a little thing, but they’re good kids, and I wish that I had that kind of relationship with my parents, that I could actually talk to them rather than having to hide whatever I did, if I ever got in trouble I would never call my mother, I’d rather have to chew my own leg off to get it out of a bear trap and call my mother. My mother is the last person I would ever go to for empathy or sympathy or anything. I’m on my own when it came to having 2 miscarriages, to you name it. ￼￼￼My mother has never been there for me in any which way emotionally, physically, mentally emotionally you name it

Answer

I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. All 5 of us were treated the same when it came to dating and all that. We as girls had the safe sex/birth control/consent/no pregnancy/etc talk and so did our brothers. Bout the only difference is we got more of an in-depth tall about avoiding date rape so drink safety/go in groups/don't be alone etc. My brothers got it to but not to the same extent. But we could all date and everything at the same age and our whole family had very honest and open relationships about sex and health. My oldest brother made our youngest sister a period care kit and bought her cupcakes and some gifts when she got her period and let her know if she ever needed hygiene stuff at school let him know and he would bring her tampons or pads. I loved the way my parents did it. We were all equal and knowledgeable about it all.

Answer

It's called double standards a set of principles that applies differently and usually more rigorously to one group of people or circumstances than to another especially : a code of morals that applies more severe standards of sexual behavior to women than to men. It's stupid and the only way to avoid it is to do better in our jobs as parents. Just like you said if you have a girl you will do differently, good for you. I do that to I had a talk with my daughter and I always remind her that she can come to me whenever for whatever. I told her that if she ever does something stupid she shall let me know I will have a story of my own where I made a bad decision too.

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My mom was the same way. I still remember when she went through my phone and saw a text that some boy stared at my boobs, I noticed and texted my friend about it, the boy and I did nothing together, but she FLIPPED anyways broke my phone I was grounded for the rest of the school year she told me I was disgusting and get out of her sight. Of course she doesn’t remember this but I still do and it happened over a decade ago. I also had to write a full essay and apologize to her about how i was wrong and how I’ll never do something like that again. I just got much better at hiding stuff from her. I plan to do much better with my children, I have a girl already with a boy on the way. They will both be treated the same when it comes to sex, one will not be given more encouragement than the other cause they both will know about safe sex, consent, and that they can come to me and I will not shame them.

Answer

You just had shit parents who imposed restrictive gender stereotypes. Do better with your own kids and break that double standard cycle.

Why do boys get support & the talk and not girls?

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