Broken

Hi guys, I just wanted to write this somewhere people would understand.

We started TTC last July, every month at first I think to myself “I won’t get my hopes up, if it happens great, if not we keep trying”. But every month it ends up being the same, I think this might be it, maybe if I do this or try that, but it’s always bad news.

AF arrived today and it totally broke me, I thought this was my month. I want this so so much and I truly don’t understand what I am doing wrong.

So much bad stuff has happened in the last couple of months, is it really too much to ask for some good news?

My husband doesn’t really get it either, I appreciate his support in saying that even of we can’t have kids, it’ll be OK, but I just think he doesn’t truly get how important it is for me, although I’ve told him, so I feel alone sometimes as well.

And now I am also in that point in life where people keep asking when we are having kids pretty often, I’ve never realized before how inconsiderate that question is, if it were for it, it would’ve happened already, we can never know what people are going through. Plus the fact that infertility is still a taboo subject, it just makes everything harder.

I don’t want to lose hope but I seriously don’t know what to do anymore, it is just so hard and heartbreaking month after month. My heart goes out for all of you who have been trying for so long, I hope our dream can come true some day.