Curly hair care

I am dying to find products that work for my hair!! I am mixed, black and white. I have long curly hair, down my back, and it’s between 3a-3b. For over 20 years, I have used typical styling products for curly hair that you’d find at the drug store, and never had a problem with it until one day I woke up and realized my hair was dry, brittle, lacked definition, and looked like I’d bleached it 100x when I never have. I started doing research and dumped all the typical drug store brands (herbal essences, Pantene, dove, suave, etc.) for the last 6 months or so, I’ve been on a quest to find products that nourish and moisturize my hair, not just cover up the problem with silicones and make me think my hair looks good. I also want products that help me style my hair and leave my curls looking defined, luscious, and healthy. I just can’t find anything that works for me! Also, no matter what I do, my hair always ends up frizzy and nasty. Any tips on what I’m doing wrong???