Who is right ?

Question

So my fiancé has two prev kids we have a toddler & I am preg now . We both agreed we only want two together. So since I will most likely have a second csec he says to tie my tubes which I don’t agree with I’ve heard bad experiences like after pain ? I might be wrong . Well I tell him you get a vacectomy and he says let’s both do it but I feel he will back out if I get mine first ..... plus if we decide on another one day it would be easier for him to get reversed ! I feel my body has and will go through enough it’s his turn ! Am I wrong ?

Answer

If you guys aren’t sure if you may want another child do not do either. I know many couples who made life altering decisions only to try to reverse them years later with no success.

Answer

Doesn’t seem like either of you really want to commit to a procedure. Doing both seems unnecessary. Maybe consider an IUD?

Answer

You’re both wrong if you think there’s any chance that you might eventually want another.  When they do the consult for a vasectomy, they make it very clear that it’s meant to be permanent birth control and not reversed as reversal often fails.  Plus, reversal is expensive and pretty much never covered by insurance.  
If there’s any chance that you want another, then do an iud and back up with condoms.  
Otherwise, a vasectomy makes much more sense than a tubal.  My SO had a V but has never gone to the follow up appt because I am pregnant, so I am getting a tubal unless he does because I’m not risking it

Answer

After doing our research it is much harder and more possible complications for me to get tubes tied. We will be having our 4th and all delivered by Csection. My husband doesn’t want to put my body through any more so he’ll be getting a vasectomy.

Answer

Well, it’s not about who is “right.” Let’s be clear here - nobody gets to tell another person what to do with their body. He doesn’t get to tell you to get your tubes tied and you don’t get to tell him to get a vasectomy. 
If he’s not comfortable getting a vasectomy and you’re not comfortable getting a tubal, then look into other methods of long term birth control, like using condoms and an IUD. These are also more easily reversible if you’re not 100% sure you’re done having kids yet.
Personally, my husband and I have this discussion every year or so. We both agreed that vasectomy would probably be the best route for *us* and I would still track my cycles using FAM and avoid my fertile days as a backup. That way the responsibility is still on both of us. But we might change our minds so we continue to bring it up to see where we stand and how we feel about it. If my husband was adamantly against getting snipped, I would reconsider getting a tubal, but I would insist on condoms.

Answer

I just had my first c-section on Thursday and the doctor mentioned that while they can do a tube tie at the same time, it’s common procedure to fully remove the tubes now, not just tie them. Tube removal is 100% irreversible. She said it would add an extra maybe 5-10 min to the c-section time. I opted not to get it done.

Answer

I will never understand why either person has the right to say what the other should do. You don’t want the procedure and you’re worried he doesn’t want his procedure either...so figure something else out. No one is more entitled.

Answer

I just got my tubes tied it wasn’t too bad of a recovery I’m 2 weeks post op now and I’m good

Answer

I’ve heard MANY stories from women I know who had major complications after getting their tubes tied. I would personally never do it.

Answer

To answer your question, my cousin had her tubes tied and she didn’t have a hard time. Just be sure that’s what you want

Who is right ?

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