My pregnancy story... so far

I'm writing this to help other people get answers if they've gone through anything similar, and also just to keep myself sane.

I've been trying to have a baby for the past 11 years. I've wanted a baby since I myself was in diapers, so I started trying early, I was 19 and about to marry my first husband. We tried for a little while, the marriage fell apart for a different reason, and I moved on.

I've been through a couple more relationships and always tried in those relationships to get pregnant... on a personal level I don't believe in birth control, I always was trying to get pregnant if I was in a relationship.

All my life I never had one positive pregnancy test. Until September 2020, right after my 30th birthday.

As I neared 30, I got more serious about trying to get help with fertility. Up until then I was using bbt and charting to determine fertile days, I was doing that for about 3 years.

In January of 2020 I started using OPKs. In August 2020 I got an HSG test done. It showed left tubal patency and right blockage, and a tiny polyp in the uterus. Next month, September, I got my first ever positive pregnancy test. Bleeding a couple days afterwards and a subsequent negative test showed that it was a chemical pregnancy or a very early miscarriage.

October, no pregnancy. November, another positive test. How wild! I go years and years of negative tests, and now I'm getting pregnant almost back to back. I've read that the HSG test can increase rates of conception for the 3 months following, so that may be why!

November pregnancy lasted about 5 weeks before spotting started, first brown and then red. First light and then heavier. Blood tests showed Beta HCG at about 150. Test a couple days later showed at 250. Not doubling, but not falling either.

I had been cramping on the left side more than the right, but I have noticed throughout my life, i tend to cramp on the left side more. Also am normally a light eater and pregnancy makes me hungry, eat more, so I thought maybe it's indigestion.

Told all of this to my doctor, who seemed unperterbed. Told me we should keep checking HCG. The next test was about 485. Again, rising but not doubling. The doctor keeps telling me I might be miscarrying and that MAYBE the hormone level already peaked and is going down now.

This goes on for weeks. Slight one sided cramping, bleeding getting heavier, blood tests showing rising but not doubling.

We move into December. I go in to my Dr office for an ultrasound, to confirm there is no baby. He doesn't see anything. Not in the uterus, not in the tubes, nothing he can see. Then he tells me his equipment is not as good as this other facility and maybe I should go there. So I make an appt, a week away, wondering why he didnt just send me there in the first place...

I go in for the ultrasound at the 4D facility. At this point I am, or would have been, 9 weeks pregnant. They see a mass of cells in the left tube measuring 4 cm.

They send me to the ER immediately. ER does more tests, find my HCG is at 825, see the same cell mass in my tube. They gave me methotrexate, two doses at the same time, and I went home.

Over the next couple of days, the pain diminished significantly. I was going in for blood tests still and the number was falling, as it was supposed to. We followed it down to 5 and then I tested with a home test a couple days later to make sure it was negative.

Up until this time, my bbt had been elevated still. No fever, but higher than pre-ovulation temps. Finally, temp dropped and I had what seemed like a normal period, and after that the bleeding that has went on for months was finally over.

We tried again right away. My doctor never told me to wait 3 months after methotrexate, which I have now read is a better idea. Anyways those 3 months, February, March, April, no pregnancy.

I went in late April for another HSG. This time it showed full patency in both tubes, and no more polyp. Great!

So we tried again. I used a menstrual disc after sex to keep the semen inside, usually 8-12 hours. Well, I got pregnant again right away. Found out mid May.

Immediately felt tightness and pulling on the left side, along with super sore breasts and nipples, and increased appetite.

First blood work done 4 weeks 5 days, showed beta HCG at 12, progesterone at 16, so doctor put me on progesterone pills. Two days later HCG was at 20. Not quite doubled. But doctor says it's early, let's wait more and test again.

I'm now at 5 weeks 3 days. Went in for an ultrasound today and they didnt see anything anywhere. The tech was telling me it's either too early or I need a transvaginal ultrasound (the good facility is booked, I went to a cheap one and they only do external). Did another blood test today too, but I won't get the results until tomorrow probably.

Been feeling increasing pain on the left side, sometimes very dull and sometimes worse. Sometimes some cramping on the right side too, definitely more on the left.

Last night I woke up after sleeping for about 2 hours. My legs were shaking uncontrollably, like convulsions. Wasn't in abdominal pain but was feeling very scared, like I was about to die. I wondered if I was in shock or having a seizure or a stroke. I actually spoke to myself just to make sure I could speak. I was able to speak but it was a huge effort and I wanted to repeat small phrases (I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay). I was so thirsty and I also realized I forgot to take progesterone. So I walked downstairs. Poured a glass of water. I was shaking so much but it seemed like if I controlled my breathing, I would shake less. Went upstairs again and tried to lay down. Was still shaking so hard, it felt uncontrollable but like huge shivers. By this time I had already put on warm clothes and checked my temp, it was 98.6, very normal. Felt sweaty and heart racing still. Went to go to my mom's room and ask her to take me to the ER. On my way to her room I either passed out or I had a seizure, next thing I know I was laying on the floor in the hallway. Crawled to the door, knocked, explained what I was feeling and what had happened. Mom called 911. Paramedics came and checked my vitals, they said I look very healthy which made me want to laugh because I still was shaking uncontrollably and couldnt breathe. But they said if there's no abdominal pain, probably not a ruptured ectopic. They said it seems like a panic attack. Never had one before so I didnt know what it was like. Immediately after they left, I threw up a lot, then went back to sleep. Today feeling much better, just extremely tired and some slight cramping, keeps switching sides.

I wish that scan today had shown more... if I knew where the baby is, I would know if I need to go in again for methotrexate, or if I can stop worrying if it's in the uterus. Such a scary place to be in especially after last night, when I was convinced I was dying.

My plan is to wait until that good facility has an opening so I can get a better scan. Til then, just wait and try to relax. I'm not bleeding so trying to see that as a good sign, last time around I was already bleeding at 5 weeks.

The good thing is, I am able to get pregnant. I think the HSG tests and the menstrual discs help a lot with that, also I'm on basically all the natural herbs for fertility - red clover, red raspberry leaf, chaste berry, turmeric, evening primrose oil, whole food prenatals, ashwangdha, omegas, willow bark, and I have been fully plant based for over 7 years. Good nutrition has helped regulate my cycle a lot.

Hoping my experience might help another womban understand what she is going through, or help her get pregnant even. Also hoping someone out there has been through this and has some words of hope for me 🙏

Thankhs for reading my long pregnancy story,

with hopes that this is not the end.

Update:

5/25/21 HCG was at 163 as of yesterday.

Update:

5/25/21 very light spotting after sex, with significant cramping and nausea. Nausea and cramping stopped after 30 mins, spotting stopped after an hour.

Update:

5/26/21 Spotting appeared again, first very light pink, then more brown and slightly heavier, still very light.

Update:

5/27/21 Blood results in from yesterday, they're at 485 - more than doubled in 48 hours! Amazingly good news. Still very slight brown spotting, dr says it was probably from sex.

Update:

5/30/21 Finally stopped spotting, it was very light the whole 4 days. Excited to go for an ultrasound in 6 days! Praying to see our baby healthy and in the right place 🙏

Update:

6/5/21 Got an ultrasound and saw nothing in the uterus. Mass in the left tube, again. It was smaller this time, less than 2cm instead of 4cm last time. The hcg was at 4000 today. Got methotrexate again. No explanation at all why the hcg is doubling during an ectopic, and when i asked why we do hcg tests if they mean nothing, doctor had no answer. He basically said because it's all you can do.

We will see a homeopathic doctor and see if there are any preventative measures that we can take to make sure this doesnt happen again.