I invited my boyfriend to come with me and my family for our family vacation/son birthday.

We decided to go to the Georgia aquarium and Coca Cola plant and as we’re standing in line i see 2 girls walking up and they’re half naked and i look over to him and he’s just starring at them.. i walked where my mom was and basically stayed away from him because he kept looking at them and other girls and it just made me feel upset about myself. We have 2 kids together and I’ve gained a lot of weight with them and with him cheating in the past it just hurt me.

I was holding back tears while we were at the event trying my best to act normal around my family because they don’t know about the cheating nor the baby that the girl he cheated on me with abortion.

When we left the events we went to Walmart to get stuff and i got me so wine coolers and he automatically got a attitude with me..

i don’t drink but after the girl contacted me to tell him she got an abortion and wanted her money back i just started drinking after that entire situation because idk i guess I’m so hurt about it i drink to not think about it and if i bring it up, he automatically somehow turns it around on me trying to justify or say he doesn’t know if I’m cheating or he’ll say i delete stuff and he’ll say he just don’t have proof but i told him he doesn’t have proof because I’ve never cheated or did anything dirty behind his back even when we took breaks … i found out every time we break he was out “pimping” just like he told his cousin. I read his text messages with his cousin and i was disgusted..

the girl he got pregnant with which is also a girl he just me… so he claims she was taking him to another chick house and apparently she didn’t know.. he said she got some wet good pussy and the other girl which she was driving him too had the best head and he was trying to put his cousin on but his cousin said no he’s good because he has a girlfriend.. it’s the fact that he was so proud of everything he was doing.

I don’t know how to leave and i can’t because he’s told me so many times nobody else is going to want me… with kids and because of other things..

i either hold back tears everyday or cry after finding about the other girl pregnancy and our son wasn’t even a month yet and it was the same day our daughter birthday when he left my house to go to the girl house he got pregnant.. which is around the time she conceived..

I’m so tired but i don’t know how to leave..