Feeling bitter

My partner and I do not live together, we never have. We have a 2 year old child together though and I’m pregnant.

He works long hours during the week so we usually spend the weekend with him.

This weekend, he decided it was too hot to have us come over because he doesn’t have AC. Mind you, neither do I!

So I tried to make plans with him for today, even if it was to go to the beach for a bit or just go for a walk at the park, which is his birthday, and he just didn’t even respond to my messages tho he looked at them.

Then he posted a snap story that he was fishing at the lake. I can’t understand why he didn’t contact me so we could go along and play at the lake while he went fishing and then he could also spend some time with our son for his birthday. I had gifts for him from both of us and made him a dessert that I know he loves.

I get that some people need time alone, but he literally is alone 5+ days a week while I care for our son alone WHILE 6 months pregnant. He hasn’t even checked in on us since Friday now when he said it was too hot for us to come over.

I am overheated, overtired, and feeling really hormonal now so I’m back and forth between angry and tears.

I already tossed the dessert because I can’t eat it and it won’t keep until next week and canceled my prenatal appt for Tuesday afternoon because I don’t even want to see him now. I’ve already discussed with him that he needs to learn to manage his work hours and family time like every other parent. I was actually going to have an abortion when I found out I was pregnant this time because I already felt like a single mom and couldn’t handle more of the solo responsibility (I have 2 other kids also!). He talked me out of it saying he’d start spending more nights with us and instead, nothing changed even a tiny bit, and now we haven’t seen him in a week and he avoided us on his birthday!

I’ve already talked with him about it multiple times in the past so I think I just need to make some decisions now. Every time I think about having a convo with him about it, I start having wicked contractions so can’t handle the stress of even a discussion with him right now and will ice him out for a minute while I sort through my thoughts. Our son sees him so little that he doesn’t even ask for him or miss him so it’s not hurting him to give myself some time.

I don’t really need advice, I mostly just needed to vent. Everyone thinks he’s this amazing father and partner and I never let on how minimally he actually does anything so needed to get it off my chest.

****edit**** we do not live together for the sake of one of my older children who is working through some mental health issues due to the abuse of *their* biological father (not my partner) so it’s an active decision on my part not to live together at this time. The abuse started happening shortly before we intended to move in together, while ttc our first together, and I found out about it right after getting pregnant, so he stayed at his place and I at mine. It’s better for my older children at the moment.

My issue is that there isn’t enough time spent together, not because we live apart, but because he’s been slacking on making time even when he has the time.

Also, he’s not a great father, but not a shit one either, and he supports us fully financially at the moment. He’s just kind of a mediocre parent considering the amount of time he goes without seeing our son, or even checking in. He does the bulk of the work when we’re together because he knows the responsibility is entirely on me when we’re not...but then he pulls shit like this