Is it selfish from me??

Question

I haven’t seen my family since 2019 (because of covid and work). My husband and I come from the same country and he has been there twice in 2020 and 2021. So I want to go there with my baby for 6 months because I miss my mom a lot and my baby can spend time with her grandparents (she is 2months old). Is that selfish from me to stay there that long, I mean the fact that it’s his baby too and he is probably gonna miss her first time sitting or crawling ect..
I’m on maternity leave and I don’t know when I will have the opportunity again to be able to see my family.

Answer

6 months? Yes. That is selfish. A few weeks - different story. That is his child too.

Answer

I would say a couple weeks is probably ok but six months is way too long. Can your parents come and visit you? It is unfair to the father to take your baby away for so long and miss so much if he is a dedicated father. By the time you come back the father will essentially be a stranger and at that age separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common.

Answer

6 months is not a visit but a move in my opinion. A visit is a few weeks. I don't think that is fair. Could you all go and stay for a couple of weeks and then husband could fly back and you stay an extra week alone? That way you can have the experience together and bond plus some time a part.

Answer

Oh yukes. I absolutely understand where you’re coming from - I don’t live in the same country as my mother and grandmother and they’ve never met my 2.5 year old som because travel has been difficult to arrange on my end and impossible on theirs. But 6 months is such a long time at that age! To be away from dad, to be away from the place where you need to be building a routine…coming back home and settling would be really hard. Obviously this is a decision you and your husband must make together, but if he isn’t on board with 6 months and can’t go with you…I wouldn’t push the issue

Answer

My husband would never agree with me going away for that long with our newborn. He would be so upset if I suggested that. 6 months?! No way. Maybe a month tops. But six? He would never be okay with that and he would probably have some words with me about that. Plus I couldn't deprive my husband of all those milestones and missed time. This time is integral for bonding and imprinting on a baby.

Answer

No I don't think it's selfish as long as you make this dec with him and not by yourself, although 6 months at this age means a lot he will miss many important things of her life so discuss that with him and see if it's ok for him too

Answer

6 months is wrong in my opinion. It’s a baby right? That’s a long time during the baby’s formative time to be away from it’s dad. And super wrong and unethical provided he wants to be in its life. That’s very selfish.

Answer

6 months seems excessive. How about a few weeks? Or your mother could travel to you if she wants to be around the baby for a longer amount of time.

Is it selfish from me??

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