I keep having this thought, I always brush it off but it keeps coming back to me. My husband hasn’t spoken to his family in quite some time. We can count on one hand the number of times his mother has been to see us in the last 3 years and the last time my husband spoke to her on the phone she told him it’s because she doesn’t love him as much as she loves his siblings (who tolerate her bs)

For years and years my mother in law has been abused physically, mentally and emotionally by her husband (my husbands father) who recently (or maybe not so) started doing drugs on top of countless affairs over the last 30 years as well as lying and just general dishonesty and my husband has run to her aid in many different ways countless times. We started our own family and my husband finally got sick of supporting her during his “episodes” and told her she needed to leave him and that if she didn’t we wouldn’t be able to support her as much anymore, especially financially because our family needed to come first. We don’t feel safe taking our baby over to their home because of his rages (he’s pulled a gun on her and broke through an exterior door frame) I think this is why she said these things. Im sure she’s hurt and angry and I know in large part she blames me for it. She asked my husband to leave me and “come back to them” because he has “changed so much since meeting me” I’ve actually talked with his friends and they agree he’s changed but they said any changes have been for the better, “he’s more confident and happy.” My husband loves his mom and while I’m happy he put us first I know it hurts him that she doesn’t seem to care. We chose to not speak to his father any more which I know has added to the issues with my MIL but she refuses to leave him and justifies being with him because he “loves” her (really he just buys her expensive things after he has admitted to another affair which she knows and has said out loud to me) We’ve tried making arrangements to see her outside of her home because we aren’t comfortable being there and she’s been told she’s welcome in our home any time but she always has an excuse to not come even when invited which was true even before we cut off the FIL.

Anyways - I’ve been thinking about writing her letters and filling her in on our little boys life - not so much for her benefit but because I want her to know how much she is missing out on by choosing not to be in our lives and I think a huge part of me is hoping it would be enough to soften her heart if that makes sense and maybe bring her around? I feel like it coming from me would be an olive branch in a way?

I don’t know that she deserves it but I find myself writing these letters in my head to her telling her about everything our baby is doing and learning which is so much these days. I don’t know that she’s ready or willing to even open back up to us but I keep holding out hope that she will someday realize and reach back out to my husband.

Am I crazy??