TW* Old Self Harm Scars

I had an appointment today to see about some bloodwork.

They did more bloodwork to check platelet levels and a few other things. Well, when the nurse went to draw blood she got kinda quiet and the vibes told me I should have told her the other arm.

The social worker for the hospital came in and checked up on me. Asked me how I was doing and if a nutritionist has contacted me to help me better deal with recovering from bu|!m!a. I see a therapist and psychologist already since my fiancé passed away. Then she said she wanted to check in because they noticed my self harm scars, and that I had a history of depression.

No one has mentioned my scars since 2010. Two are keloids because I needed stitches back then so they healed weird.

I have a toddler, and want to be the best mom I am able to be. and since becoming a mom, I can’t even handle the sight of blood. I get lightheaded when they take blood like I don’t even watch them, I turn my head. Idk how I managed to mutilate myself when I was a teenager but I’m definitely not that same person. I cringe at the thought of it. I don’t know. Them bringing it up makes me think that’s all people think of when they see me. And think that I’m a danger to myself or others and that’s not true at all. (I take care of myself waaaay better now compared to back then, and I could NEVER hurt anyone)

I’ve been wanting a small tattoo, and don’t really want to get a sleeve tattoo, but I do not want to feel like this again. I feel horrible. 🥺 how can I get rid of these stupid scars????

*i know they were just doing their job. I’m not mad at them. I’m just really embarrassed and ashamed. I did it when I was 15, and I’m 29 now.