I am going through a difficult process of making a decision about my fertility future. I had given up on TTC because of 3 losses and possibly now blocked fallopian tubes. It was my husband’s and mine unanimous decision to not go for any further fertility treatments. A year and a half later, I feel i may regret not giving my best shot at TTC, especially when there are possibilities.

But now I am looking at the possible physical, emotional and financial toll this is going to take on us. I am so scared. My husband is very very supportive and protective of me and if he comes to know that I am freaking out, he will completely and permanently drop this conversation. We have decided not to tell our parents anything till we have something to tell. Also, both my mom and MIL are big mama bears when it comes to me and would dissuade me from going for anything potentially painful, even if that means no grandbaby for them. All my friends have children and have faced no fertility issues. They just cannot understand this.

I have a lot of trust issues with doctors because all this started because of my first doctor who is solely responsible for my first loss and all the complications afterwards.

I don’t even know what to do. In an ocean of support, I am thirsty to vent.

Edit- And just to drive me crazier, my period is late 🤐🤐