my head is hitting my heart🥺what do i do?

please help. i want all advice. i come to eve about a lot of my problems lmao because i don’t have many friends i can go to.

i’m 21 and have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. i love this man so much. he’s older, we’re 9 years and some change apart. i feel like i’m at a point in my life where i’m having identity issues. i don’t know who i am or what i wanna do or where i wanna go. i’m still trying to figure myself out ya know?

we’ve made plans. (i know plans don’t always play out but still) we’re planning to move in together soon. we wanna marry each other. and have kids. and build a life together. i’ve never imagined being with someone forever except him. but part of me knows it’s over. like i know i need to be by myself. at least i think so. but i can’t imagine letting him go. he’s not someone you come across twice. he’s one of a kind. sometimes i wish i never met him so i wouldn’t have to experience losing him.

and part of me doesn’t feel loved anymore. it’s like i can feel myself craving this deep love and it needs to come from myself. but i can’t seem to do that right now. i don’t know i’m just so CONFUSED.

i need advice.😔