my dad is the type of person that i hate..

so recently i’ve come to a horrid realization and i don’t know how to feel or what to do.

my dad is the type of person that won’t take care of his own kids but will go play daddy with someone else’s..

tl;dr

my dad doesn’t make an effort to see his kids/grandkids from other relationships but is very active in mine and my sons lives because he’s still married to my mom. i think it’s caused a rift in my relationship with my half siblings.

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HERES THE FULL STORY

my dad got married to his first wife and had a baby (we’ll call him J). some odd years later, they divorce and my dad married his second wife who had a child from a previous relationship. my dad and her have a baby together (we’ll call him A). again, some odd years later, they divorce and my dad then marries his third wife who already had a child from a previous relationship and they have another baby together (me).

my dad and my mom are still together.

my siblings and i are not close, i just always assumed it was the age gap because we’re all “close” but we don’t go out of our way to talk with each other. J is 20years older than me and A i think is about 10years older.

anyways, J had a daughter back in 2005 but i thought my parents (and me) didn’t talk to her because my brother has been kinda outcasted from the family for a long time due to his drug addiction. so that was kinda always my excuse for my parents (mainly my dad). then last summer A had his first baby, my dad only visited once before the baby was born. he hasn’t seen or met the baby, he’s only seen pictures. my excuse for this was that A lives in a different state so my dad can’t visit all the time.

shortly after As baby was born i got pregnant. my dad has visited multiple times throughout my pregnancy. he drives from florida to new york and stops at my house in virginia to see me.. here’s the thing though, A lives in Pensilvania. my dad could easily stop by and see him. and guess where my dad is right now ? in new york getting ready to drive to see my baby, but he’s not stopping to see A and his baby.

the last time him and my mom visited i asked why they don’t stop at As and visit. my mom said because she doesn’t view J or As children as her grandkids(which offends me to my core but that’s a story for a different day). so then one thing led to another and i asked why A and J stopped visiting my dad when i was younger (because if i’m being honest i only have a few memories of my siblings coming to visitation). my mom said it was because by the time i was getting older they were teenagers and/or a grown adult.

but like.. when i think about it.. they were kids and my dad was not only the adult in this situation, he was their father. he gave them what seems like the bare minimum, their relationship is based off convenience. it kinda feels like my dad and me are only close because he didn’t leave my mom.. i have no doubt that there’s probably some built up resentment from my brothers and that’s why we’re not close.

no one deserves to question why they weren’t enough for their parent to be a parent